7 steps to avoid a wedding disaster

Oct 01, 2023

EXCLUSIVE: It may be one of the happiest days of a couple's life, but planning a wedding can be stressful. OK! speaks to wedding expert Kate Beavis about keeping things organised

You’ve saved the date, said yes to the dress and have found the ideal venue – the wedding planning is going surprisingly smoothly.

But while the essentials checklist may be getting shorter by the hour, no completed planner or list of ticked-off tasks can stop little worries from rearing their heads at 3am.

From sleepless nights over a potential washout (even if the weather forecast says there will be wall-to-wall sunshine) to concerns about guests causing some dreaded drama, planning a wedding can be seriously anxiety-inducing.

Luckily, Kate Beavis, founder of Magpie Wedding and The Eco Wedding Show, is on hand to answer your questions and help you throw the wedding of a lifetime...

While weddings offer an opportunity to meet people from all different backgrounds, it can be nerve-wracking meeting people for the first time. Luckily, breaking the ice can be a lot more fun than going around and telling everyone two facts and a lie about yourself.

"Turning name cards into mini fact profiles or handing out disposable cameras are great ways to get guests to bond," says Kate. "One wedding I went to had a quiz where the tables competed with one another. That was a great way to get rid of any awkward silences."

For some, rain on a wedding day is good luck, but for others it can put, well, a dampener on things. Whether you end up with rain or shine, planning ahead is key. "If it's an outdoor wedding, think about having a marquee as a back-up and make sure you can supply umbrellas, ponchos or wellies for your guests if it's muddy underfoot," says Kate. "A heatwave is equally problematic, so have water stations around the venue, provide lots of fans and shaded areas and make sure the cake is somewhere cool so it doesn't melt."

Ultimately, embracing the weather is Kate's number one piece of advice. "I spent three months freaking out about rain at my wedding," she adds. "You just need to realise that you can't change it. Besides, rain actually makes for very nice and moody wedding photos."

When it comes to the dance floor, people can be divided into two camps: those who are found leading everyone in The Cha Cha Slide and those who are watching from the sidelines. However, if you want to have a dance floor bursting at the seams, there's a simple recipe to follow.

"You need to look at the age of your guests and make sure you have music that corresponds to their age and interests," says Kate. "Start with music from the 50s or 60s and gradually move into the present day, so that all guests will recognise an era of music. Another option is to pick songs that are nostalgic, like choosing hits that you and your uni mates used to go clubbing to."

Asking guests to request songs on their RSVP form or choosing a DJ who takes requests on the night are also fail-safe options.

Despite being a celebration of love, weddings can be a little less romantic and a lot more stressful when less sexy things like schedules and logistics are taken into account. And that's exactly what groomsmen and bridal parties are there for, says Kate.

"A lot of bridesmaids and groomsmen see a wedding as a huge party. It is, but it's actually their role to support the couple getting married," she explains. "Delegate some jobs like making sure the cake is cut on time. It’ll help things go more smoothly."

From open bars to personalised cocktails, deciding what alcohol, if any, to supply can be more complicated than determining what food to serve. At the end of the day, it's very much a personal choice, although there are some guidelines some couples may want to follow.

"I would expect a glass of champagne to toast with and most people budget for there to be half a bottle of wine on the table for each guest. Extras like arrival drinks are optional," says Kate. "People will inevitably get drunk, so make sure soft drinks are readily available and serve lots of food. The worst thing you can do is give guests lots of alcohol but hardly anything to eat, especially if there's a lot of waiting around for photos."

It's also important to look out for guests who aren't as interested in alcohol. "You don't want non-drinkers to feel left out by giving them fizzy drinks or water as their only option. There are so many alcohol-free tipples out there," Kate adds.

With all the pressure to make a wedding one of the biggest days of your life, it's easy for couples to get lost in the day and end up spending little time together.

"Couples should make time to disappear and just relax, talk and enjoy a drink. I feel like I didn't see my husband properly until 11pm," says Kate. "A wedding can be like a hamster wheel but you need to make sure you slow the day down and focus on what it's all about – your relationship. A week or so before, sit down with your partner and explain that at a specific time or after a specific moment, you will meet up and take a breather. It sounds far from romantic to make a schedule, but you will forget it when you’re rushed off your feet."

While all eyes may be on the bride as she walks down the aisle or the newlyweds’ arrival at the reception, how the big day ends is equally important. besides, it's the last thing that people will remember.

"You need to create an exit plan that will kick in 30 minutes before the end of your party," explains Kate. "You need to create a journey that naturally gets people out of the venue. Switch the music to a selection of calmer songs and have some classic ‘drunk’ food waiting for guests outside so they have a reason to leave.

"Also, make sure you have taxis booked in advance so that people aren't waiting hours to make their way home."

Visit Magpie Wedding at magpiewedding.com

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